


Two days, three months and four years

by Meinhiding, steelorchids



Series: Karedevil fics [42]
Category: Daredevil (TV), Karedevil - Fandom
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, But Steelorchids made sure our idiots in love had a happy ending, F/M, Heavy Angst at first, Karedevil is endgame, Then it gets lighter, This was going to be just a terribly sad oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:41:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23093503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meinhiding/pseuds/Meinhiding, https://archiveofourown.org/users/steelorchids/pseuds/steelorchids
Summary: It had been four years, three months and two days since that cold November morning when she left New York. It was not really that long, but the memory of that time felt like another life, lived by someone else.
Relationships: Karedevil, Matt Murdock & Franklin "Foggy" Nelson & Karen Page, Matt Murdock & Karen Page, Matt Murdock/Karen Page
Series: Karedevil fics [42]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1116681
Comments: 47
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

It had been four years, three months and two days since that cold November morning when she left New York. It was not really that long, but the memory of that time felt like another life, lived by someone else.

Everything was different now. Karen had finished her studies at the USC and during all that time she had been working as a radio show host in California, first in a small radio station, then in a much bigger one. She had also learned to combine her career with a soothing personal life. That was something she had tried, but failed to do in New York. She could even say she was genuinely happy. She had friends, a great job, a nice little house, her boyfriend, their dogs... And she did not think that much about the past. Or at least not as much as before.

It had taken her time to process it. She was not good at forgetting or letting things go, but she knew that’s the way it was, and it was probably for the best anyway. And no one was to blame. Things had worked out with Matt for a while. They had loved and cared for each other in a way they had never expected they could experience themselves. It had seemed like magic at first. It was all smiles and touches, hopes and dreams, until they slowly went back to their old selves. Then, it just did not work. 

She had grown used to his heightened senses and was well aware of how convenient they were for her, but she could not help but feel a bit irritated sometimes. Like those times she wanted to take her .380 with her, but she could not do it without him knowing it, wondering why she needed it. If she did not tell him, he would still know, and then there would be silent questions and demanding smiles. Because they would both know he knew. And that sincerity should have been the basis of their relationship anyway, but she could not help but feel how unfair it was that she had no choice but to be an open book to him. How could she be sure he was being honest as well? After everything they had been through...

So she was as honest as she could, but one day, she discovered herself plotting how to get information about a dangerous cartel without telling him. _He would worry and try to stop me_ , she had told herself, ignoring those six words that inevitably crossed her mind every time there was a threat in her life: _I can take care of myself_. She knew it would destroy him if he heard her saying them again.

__

__

Because there was the inevitable burden of the past. They had talked about it all. She had explained herself, and so had he. They had decided to accept it, even if it hurt, because it was understandable. But it was also painful. She could not forget the image of that woman lying in his bed. And she knew it all, and it was fine, and it made sense, but not even his eloquence could make it any less torturous for her. No matter if he had been meeting a client, any trace of perfume was a fight against her instincts telling her _How do you know it’s not hers? How can you be so sure he would choose you if she came back from the dead again?_

Soon, she knew she was not the only one trying to keep her fears under control. They had been living together for a bit more than a year when she noticed some dry blood on the bathroom floor. That was not something unusual, he could smell the blood even after it had been cleaned, so he could not know it was still there, but why was it even there when he was supposed to have no open wounds? His injured knee was keeping him under what he would jokingly call a _home arrest_. He had had no chance to be on patrol. Where did that come from? Had he been out without telling her? But then, why hadn’t he told her? Why did he need to hide that from her when he knew how well she understood that he was just doing what he had to do? And if he was lying about that… what made her think that was the only thing he was lying about?

Things were not that way at first. Neither of them would have dared to do anything that could jeopardize their relationship when they started dating this second time. There were no half truths and no need to lie. They were too much in love to take that road again. But even love is not enough sometimes. 

Maybe they were too young, maybe their strong and fervent personalities sparked off the possibility of a future together. Maybe it was her, or him, or the combination of the two of them. 

It was hard to remember who said the words, who was the first one to talk about a break, about reconsidering things, about maybe just being friends again… It did not really matter. It did not matter then, even less now that there was no way back to that moment when she took her suitcase and started packing all her stuff, ready to leave his apartment, to take that job she’d been offered and to start a life away from him.

And it had not been that difficult to keep in touch at first. Her new job was not as stressful as the one she’d had in Nelson, Murdock & Page, so she had a lot of free time and, being new in town, she still had no friends. Every day, she would phone them on her way to work and she would send them messages in the long hours she was by herself. It was strange, but sometimes she felt closer to Matt then, when there were no ties. Their relationship was more comforting and honest. It was liberating. 

However, little by little, they got used to not having each other by their side and that warming familiarity changed into awkwardness and then, there was no turning back. Their messages became less frequent, and if she phoned the office, it would be Foggy answering the phone. Matt would always be busy with a client, or out somewhere. 

One day, she simply stopped calling, or maybe it was them who stopped writing, but just as her name had been taken off from their sign at the door, Karen also faded away from their lives. Apart from the socially required Christmas greetings, the happy birthday wishes and the inevitable announcements of the big events, there was nothing else to say.

She was no longer part of their lives, and neither were they part of hers. They had shared some moments in the past, but were now heading to a different future. Hers was promising, just like theirs, but there would be no napkin with their three names written on it in either of them. 

Losing them had been hard, but she was strong and tenacious, and sadly used to restart, so she took a deep breath, turned the page and focused on the one she was writing by herself. 

Now, years after that other life she had once lived, years after their last kiss at the airport, she was back in New York for that annual convention _Paige Angel_ had been invited to. She would have refused if she could have. She knew New York would bring back too many memories. But she couldn’t, so she went, and every corner was painfully taking her to the old days. 

It felt strange to be back in the place where Matt and Foggy were still living their lives. She still knew a lot about them. Even if not as frequently as before, every now and then she would check the news to see how their firm was doing, how Daredevil was fighting crime, how people were finally praising him. She was glad they were happy. She really was. She just felt sad sometimes because she was not part of it anymore.

She kept walking the streets of the city and her feet unconsciously took her to Hell's Kitchen. Everything was familiar, and different too. The little Italian place where the two of them used to go was a Starbucks now, the fancy restaurant where they once went had closed and they had put street lamps in the dark alley that was right next to the café that had their favourite chocolate muffins. 

Before she knew it, she was walking down the street that would take her to the place she once called _home_. It was not like she was planning to go upstairs and see him. They had not talked for far too long. Last time they had been in touch was with a cold and short message on Christmas Day. That’s why she had not told Matt, or Foggy, that she was there. Besides, it would be a quick trip and seeing them could be nice, but it would also hurt too much. 

She was happy with her new life, but she would always wonder if leaving New York, if leaving him had been the right choice. What would her life be like if she had stayed? Maybe they could have made things work, maybe they would still be working together, maybe now they’d be married and even have a kid or two. 

She shook her head trying to get rid of her thoughts and sighed. She stopped walking and stood in front of the building that was lit by an enormous billboard. Her heart was beating out of control and, before she knew it, she felt tears threatening to roll down. 

She looked up and was surprised to see that the lights in Matt’s flat were on. Maybe Foggy and Marci were there too. Maybe Foggy’s parents were watching over their baby that night. Or maybe they had brought it with them. 

She bit her lip, trying hard to control the tears that were now running down her face. Would they be happy if she rang the bell and told them she was just passing by? 

But then she saw him, standing right in front of the window. 

“Matt,” she sighed, and saw him slightly tilting his head.

She took her hand to her mouth, regretting it, wondering if she should run away or if maybe he would make some kind of sign to tell her to come upstairs with them. 

But he did not move. He stood there, motionless, while a blonde woman walked towards him, put her arms around him and started kissing his neck. 

Karen gulped and, even though she knew she shouldn’t, she just observed, petrified, how that woman took his hand and walked him towards the place that used to be _their_ bedroom. 

She wiped away her tears and, looking down at the same pavement she had once walked on day after day, she turned around and started walking back to her hotel. Hoping to find some comfort, she took her phone and called her fiancé. 

“Hi, babe. Do you miss me?” She asked, her voice as natural as she could make it. 

“How could I not?” He answered, bringing a smile to her face. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You know that, right?”

“Yes”, she whispered, nodding. “You tell me every day.”

“Of course, because— Hey! No! Don’t you… Stop it!”

“What’s going on there?” She asked, laughing when she heard their dogs barking. 

“They’re trying to reach the phone. I think— I think they miss you too.”

“Oh! Do they?”

“Yeah… What about you?” 

“Well… I can’t wait to be back home.”

She could not say she was not happy. She had everything she had ever dreamed of and more, but she wondered if there was a road, a narrow path they could have taken, that could have led them to that same day but with her having her arms around Matt’s body, his lips pressed against hers, and his hands desperately trying to get rid of all her clothes.


	2. Chapter 2

The three of them had been working together for months when Foggy told him to stop flirting and to ask her out. _Read the signs_ , he would say again and again. Matt knew about the signs, in fact, it was the only thing he could think about. Her whole body was shouting how interested she was in him, but he was reluctant. He had lost so many people since a very early age and he was so deeply in love with her that he was unwilling to take the risk. He knew losing her would be devastating.

It was difficult, though. Everyday he would spend the day at the office and she would be there, at a touch distance. He could hear her smiles, smell her passion and taste her presence. So close and yet so far. Not succumbing to her was one of the hardest things he had done in his entire life. 

Somehow Karen made it easy. She gave him time to get used to being back. She smiled everyday and chose her moves and words carefully, creating a safe place for him. She tried to sound natural and calm, even when her heart was beating out of control and every tone of her voice revealed how much she wanted him. Sometimes she would forget to keep her distance and caressed his arm or placed her hand over his, and then nothing was harder than staying away from her.

He knew she could tell the way he was feeling. She did not have his super senses, but she could read him as well as he could read her. She knew he was feeling eager, but also terrified… and she was making such an effort to respect his pace, that it was torture. The moment she lowered her guard and brushed her fingers against his, taking her time, watching his reactions, they ended up kissing against the shelves in the kitchenette. They were so happy they did not know when to kiss and when to smile. 

Matt felt the luckiest man on earth knowing she was giving him a second chance, a real chance, because he knew her and she knew him, and in spite of it, or maybe because of it, she was as invested as he was. And maybe, maybe this time they could make things work. For once, he would try not to wallow in self-destruction and give happiness a chance. 

It was perfect at first. He could not have wished for anything better than the relationship he had with her. He could finally be himself and he could tell it was the same for her. They had nothing to hide, in fact, they loved sharing every secret, every feeling, every thought. Having her by his side at work, at home, or when facing the harshness of their crazy lives was a dream come true. The world was full of darkness and violence, that had not changed, but they had each other, and that made it all worth it. For the first time in his adult life, he could say he was happy.

It took him about a year to go back to his old habits. The truth is he could be no one else, but who he really was, and his isolating tendencies, his negativity and his fears had been part of his identity for too long. The moment those recurrent thoughts came back to him, he could not stop thinking about all the things that could go wrong, that would go wrong. 

One day she started taking her gun without telling him. Guns, like the Cross he prayed to, meant death for some and salvation for others. He knew it helped her feel safe, but it was always an omen for him. He would not dare to ask, but he knew she was up to something dangerous when she did not want to openly talk to him about it. He knew better than to try to dissuade her, so he would hold his tongue and give her the space she needed. He just smiled and kept quiet, pressing his lips together, imagining the worst possible scenarios. He could picture her dead in an alley, her brain blown out, or gunned down in an abandoned warehouse, her body thrown in the river, tied to a heavy weight. Even Wesley would come back to life in some of his nightmares and point a gun at her.

Matt would not tell her, but whenever she took the gun, he was terrified. His whole world seemed to collapse and he felt as if he was the defenseless little boy he once was, alone and afraid, surrounded by nothing but solitude and darkness. There were so many threats in the city, and she was out there, brave and determined, recklessly daring. He could imagine her walking towards danger without a second thought, a nervous smile on her face, her hand resting on her purse, perfectly aware of how vulnerable she was. Because she was, and he would do anything it took to make the city a safer place for her. So no matter if he was injured or if there was another good reason not to, he would find the way to hit the streets and take it out on whatever criminal he could get his hands on. 

The city had been his obsession since the moment he saw he could make a difference. When he stopped that kid’s suffering just by teaching his abusive dad a lesson, everything made sense. His abilities stopped being a curse and he learned what his call was: he would spill his blood fighting for justice, even if that meant he would condemn his soul. His city was all he cared about. 

Everything changed when Karen decided to be with him. The city was still a priority, but not the most important one. There had been other women in his life, but he had never felt for any of them what he felt for her. He would do anything to make her happy. Anything. 

Since the day they kissed furtively at the office, he had lived amidst some kind of joyfulness he had never experienced before. Every single little thing she did or said would fascinate him and make him smile. Her humming in the early morning, preparing coffee while he was still in bed, her long showers on the weekends, luring him into joining her, her feet on his lap asking for a massage that usually ended with them in bed, her gentle touch when he could not sleep, her hand holding his, the way her body reacted to every one of his smiles… Her mere existence was mesmerizing.

Losing someone he loved was not new to him, but nothing had ever been so crushing as losing the woman he had hoped to share his life with, the love of his life. And even harder than losing her was watching her walk the path that took her out of his life. He could feel her distrust, the changes in her breathing when she thought of something to say, but then decided to keep it to herself, her heart beating faster when she considered doing something, but did nothing at all. 

He didn’t know what was going on in her head, but he knew she was growing apart. She would often drink her morning coffee without him, finding excuses to leave for the office earlier than usual, feeling uneasy if he asked her about whatever she was reading on her laptop, getting home later than she used to and, knowing he would know she was lying, saying nothing about it. He shouldn’t have, but he had learned not to ask.

He had regretted it since the day she said she was going to accept that job offer and leave: watching it and doing nothing, being aware of the fact that this time there really was a problem and not daring to do anything about it. He had not known how to handle it, how to confront her and talk, just talk. He felt guilty. Of course, he felt guilty. There had to be a good reason for her behaviour and attitude. Maybe he had done something to make her want to leave, or not done something she had every right to expect he had done. His Catholic raising left no room for doubt about it: it was all his fault. 

So, hard as it was, miserable as he felt, he had to think about what was best for her and just let her go.

Surprisingly, things got a bit easier when she left for California. They started talking more and there was no longer the pressure to fight for their relationship. She sounded happier, and that was all he cared about. They would spend hours on the phone and she would not sigh if there was blood on the bathroom floor nor would he lie about going out or hurry back home at night. Their face to face silences were substituted by long distance calls and a growing bond. He missed her touch and her presence, but this seemed to be working for her.

The day he heard her talk about that man she had recently met, he knew he had to back off. She was not talking to him, but to Foggy, and maybe she thought he could not hear her from his office, or maybe she was hoping he would. She sounded excited and hopeful. After so, so long, she was going on a date. Yes, a date. And he was such a nice guy, so clever and sweet and… He had to wear his earphones and play some music to make it stop. He was feeling overwhelmed and brokenhearted, but she was happy. He did not know how he’d get over it, but she was happy. Yes, she was finally happy, and that was it. Nothing else mattered. 

He was sure he had made the right choice for her, but not a day had gone by when he did not regret not finding the magic words to make her want to stay. 

The next few months he hit rock bottom. He would go out almost every night to get into fights he knew he could not handle just to be beaten down. Physical pain alleviated his emotional suffering. He couldn’t think about how broken he was when he had bruised ribs or he could hardly breathe. 

In the middle of that crazy life he was living, Sarah came as a ray of hope. They met in an alley, not far from his apartment. He had been fighting a couple of muggers and when one of them punched him in the ear, he fell to the ground. He was too exhausted and blinded by his self-destructive thirst to feel it coming. 

She found him lying there, unconscious, in his black suit. She had heard of him, the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen, the man who fought for justice and feared nothing and no one. She went towards him, leaned him against the wall and emptied what was left of her bottle of water over his head. 

He came to his senses looking much more vulnerable than she thought he would be. He was covered in blood and completely disorientated. He started mumbling and tried to get up but fell again. She threatened him with calling an ambulance or the cops if he did not cooperate, so he gave in and told her where he lived. He was too weak to put up resistance. 

She was not planning on staying for the night, but he was helpless. He could feel he had a tympanum perforation, his hearing was seriously affected, and he did not know how to be an ordinary blind man, so he reluctantly asked for her assistance. Watching the state he was in, she could not refuse. She washed his wounds and helped him get changed while he grumbled in frustration and pain. 

He explained himself the morning after, and she would not stop asking, wanting to know it all. Then, she went home, but came back when her shift was over to check on him, and he let her in. That day was followed by another one, and then the next one, and soon she became a friend, a very close friend. 

Sarah was cheerful, understanding, and patient, very patient. It took him almost a year to let those usual visits and lunches become something else. She was not Karen, but it was nice and comforting to have her around. She was so supportive and caring he thought maybe he could learn to love her too, and he did. 

The day Karen stood in front of his apartment threw cold water on the illusion that he was living a happy life. Sarah had just been promoted, so she had brought wine, tasty food and some of her stuff to spend the night at his place. The great news called for celebration, and that’s how they had spent the evening, eating, and drinking, kissing and laughing. Until he noticed Karen’s perfume on the unforgettable sweet scent of her skin. 

He had not recognized her footsteps, nor the sound of her heartbeat, they had both been covered with the sounds of the city and Sarah’s loud laugh. But her scent had struck him intensely, bringing back the memory of someone who was no longer his, but whose presence had never really left him. The days he had spent with her came back to him, fogging the moment he was living, making him see how empty it really was when compared to the life he had shared with her.

He focused all his senses on Karen to make sure he was not dreaming it. She had not told him she was coming to New York, he didn’t even know what she could be doing there, but yes, it was her, in front of his apartment, and she was crying. She was probably happy with that man she was living with, but he had to be part of her life if she was standing there. Why else would she be there? Her heartbeat, her tears could only make sense if she had not forgotten about him. 

He got up and, fighting his paralyzed muscles, walked towards the windows. Then, he heard her say his name, and he knew it. 

Sarah started kissing him, and he could not move a finger or say a word to run away from it, but he knew he had to face the truth. He was not over Karen. He did not know if she loved him, but he was sure he still loved her. He had never stopped loving her. Every single cell of his body and his whole soul knew it. 

She was no longer his, but he was and would always be hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading.


	3. Chapter 3

Matt could say he had done a decent job at keeping his memories aside for some time. It had been a few weeks since the last time he had gone online and searched for a podcast of the radio show Karen hosted. They had lost touch long ago, hence this being the only means he had to hear her melodic voice. She was always a pleasure to hear, even through a speaker, and knowing that she was doing well comforted him somehow, but he realized it was also a pathetic and horrible thing to do. His girlfriend didn't deserve that, so he had decided not to tune in anymore, or at least not as frequently. It didn't put away the fact that he missed her a great deal, some days more than others, but it was one of the steps he had to take in order to go on with his life. 

That morning they woke up early, it was supposed to be a regular Thursday. They had a quick breakfast at the coffee shop across the street, planned to meet again over the weekend and kissed goodbye. Sarah left first, she didn't want to be late for work, and Matt stayed behind to pay the bill, but instead of walking out the door right after, he sat back on the table. 

She kept spinning around his head. Why was she in New York? And why didn't she call? His first most logical instinct was to ask Foggy if she'd contacted him, but if that was the case he would have told him already. Besides, it would be weird to all of a sudden ask about Karen when they hadn't talked about her in months. As much as he had tried to hide it, both Foggy and Maggie had witnessed his struggle very closely and had already given up on persuading him into contacting her and seeing if there was any chance of them working things out. They must have agreed that not mentioning her name was best for him because one day they simply stopped bringing up the topic, which he appreciated. 

The next alternative was to find out on his own, so he took his phone out and asked the assistant to search for _Paige Angel_. It took him less than a minute to learn that their host and two other crew members would be in town for a few days for a convention. The website even mentioned the name of the hotel where it would be held, so he figured that that was most likely where Karen would be staying. Foggy wouldn't mind him arriving a little later nor would he ask any further questions. He was very understanding of Matt's night activities and, as part of the task he had given himself of accommodating his friend as much as he could to help him cope, keep both sides of him healthy and not ruin the firm again, he had suggested scheduling all his meetings and hearings for the afternoon. That's the way they had operated for years now and it went pretty well. Without giving it a thought, Matt left the shop and headed south, even though the Nelson & Murdock office was located northward. 

The Royal Sun was a mile and a half away. He could've either grabbed a cab, run through the rooftops, or walked. He chose the latter, that way he'd have some time to think since he didn't know what he had ahead of him. The problem was that, despite the nice weather, he was sweating all over by the time he got there. 

Afraid that Karen might see him, he preferred not to go in. He stayed in the surroundings, paying close attention, listening, smelling, looking for anything that would guide him to her. There was nothing other than a few conversations among people who were clearly from the media, until he heard it. Her heartbeat. She was walking towards an outdoor terrace with a coffee mug in one hand and a magazine in the other. Two people whom he assumed were her colleagues sat next to her and complained that she hadn't shown them around the city yet and that they were running out of time, to which she just chuckled. 

Matt's heart was hammering. He couldn't believe it was really her. She smelled like fresh spring. He'll never forget how that scent lingered in his empty apartment for a couple of weeks after she left. That was his only ease every time he got home almost at the crack of dawn and he remembered how alone he was. It soon faded away, but it remained vivid in his memory. 

He heard her promise her coworkers she'd take them out later in the evening and they seemed to be satisfied with that. Then she grabbed her phone and made a call, but there was no answer. Was she calling her boyfriend? It was still too early in California, wasn't it? 

That’s when Matt came back to his senses. He felt terrible. This was wrong. He hated himself for doing this and walked away. If Karen had any interest in seeing him or Foggy she'd reach out. If she didn't, it would be one more confirmation that she had wiped them away from her life completely. 

He decided to take a cab to get to the office, and although he was no longer sweating, Foggy noticed he looked distrait the moment he saw him. 

"Morning! What happened to you? You look like you've just seen a ghost." 

"Very funny, Foggy."

"Man, seriously, you're pale. Are you okay?" 

"I'm fine. Remind me not to walk long distances on dress shoes again." 

"Alright. Hey, you're not gonna believe who's in town." 

Matt froze for a second. "Uh... who?" 

"Karen! I was talking to her right before you arrived. She's here on a short trip and will leave on Saturday, but she wants to meet with us tomorrow night. Isn't that great?" Foggy told him all excited. 

"Both of us?" 

"Of course, you idiot! I know you two have history, but it's not like you can't go out for a friendly drink." 

"What did you tell her?" 

"I told her to meet us at Dunne's, so you better clear your schedule for tomorrow at 8," Foggy told him before shutting his office door and without noticing Matt's jaw had just dropped. 

* * *

Karen saw her watch for the third time, and her reflection on the mirror for the fifth. She could control what she looked like on the outside, but there was not much she could do about her nerves. To her disadvantage, Matt was blind and had heightened senses, therefore it didn't matter whether her hair looked great or her outfit was on point, he would still know she was stirred up inside. 

Conveniently, the place Foggy had chosen was two blocks away from her. She left her room a little bit too early to walk slowly. Getting some fresh air before their reunion might help because she kept thinking: What the hell was she doing? She could've just called and said she'd be so busy she wouldn't have time to see them, or stick to her original plan and not call them at all, but then… It was Matt and Foggy. How could she do that? And Foggy sounded so glad to hear her on the phone that she could not just cancel. 

She arrived at the bar at ten to eight. The place was cozy, the music was good, and the idea of just having a fun night with old friends calmed her down. She was looking around to decide where to sit when a familiar voice surprised her. 

"The one and only Karen Page," she heard Matt say behind her and she felt shivers down her spine. 

She turned around and saw him and Foggy right in front of her and her eyes watered instantly. They were both wearing their suits, dark gray and dark brown; combined with their red-tinted glasses and shiny green eyes, respectively. 

"Hey! You guys are early," she told them and gave each of them a hug. 

"Well, my friend here," Foggy answered, pointing at Matt, "was a little nervous we'd be late, so I drove us here right after we closed the office." 

"I'm sorry for such a short notice," she told them, feeling a little guilty. 

"It's alright," Matt comforted her with the same bright smile that always softened her heart, "it's great to have you here, Karen." 

"Thanks," she replied, smiling back at him. 

"So, shall we have a seat?" Foggy interrupted. "Preferably somewhere comfortable, we have a lot to catch up on." 

They sat down and ordered some drinks and sweet and sour ribs. It was a little bit strange, especially at first, but the alcohol, the food and the music helped them loosen up a bit. 

“These are so good. You wouldn’t believe how much I miss New York’s food.”

“Well, I wish you had stayed longer. Next time you visit I’ll cook for you,” said Foggy. 

"That’s a deal. I haven't heard from Marci ever since you told me she was pregnant. How is she and the baby?" 

"Oh my beautiful girls are doing great, thank you for asking. Do you want to see a couple of pictures of little Amy?" 

"Careful, by a couple he means a thousand," Matt warned. 

She laughed at his comment and went back to Foggy, who had taken out his phone already. 

"Oh my god, she's lovely. Is it me or she looks just like her mom?" 

"Ahem, she has my nose…" 

"... and ears," Matt finished, teasing him. He had heard Foggy discuss his daughter's traits with a hundred people already and the baby was only five months old. 

"Well, you clearly cannot see the resemblance," he told Matt ironically. 

"Ouch, that was a low blow." 

Karen just giggled at their banter. They had been like that ever since she met them and it was the most hilarious thing. 

"Don't worry, Matt, I will also have to put up with all your daddy talk when you have kids with Sarah."

Karen blushed and swallowed her drink quickly to avoid spitting it out. So that was her name... 

"Who's Sarah?" she asked, as casually as possible. 

"Matt's girlfriend. No offense, you know you'll always be my favorite, but she's adorable."

"Foggy!"

"Time for another round," Matt suggested immediately, wishing the floor would open up and swallow him. 

Karen noticed his cheeks were almost matching his glasses and something inside her found that adorable too. If he could pinpoint her reactions, she didn't see why she could not try and do the same with him. 

Everything felt so familiar and strange at the same time. Foggy had lost some weight and he seemed to be happier than he'd ever been. Matt had a new scar on his temple, and she could swear there was some nervousness about his manners and she wondered… _No, stop it, Karen_. They had moved on. Without her. She could definitely use that second round of shots to avoid overthinking and getting all emotional. 

"I hear Nelson & Murdock is doing great. That's fantastic." 

"Yeah, thanks. We miss the P in there, though," Foggy disclosed, "See, Matt was a horrible mess when you left and I don't think I have fully recovered either. Even Josie asked me about you the other day." 

_A horrible mess?_

"Wait, you still go to Josie's?" 

"Yup, and don't let her fool you, it’s not like she’s gone soft or anything, she's still as grumpy. But let's talk about the new stuff. Tell me more about this Ryan guy. I bet he's rich and blond and does crossfit." 

"What's wrong with crossfit?" Karen asked, amused. 

"Ha! Gotcha. He's all that, isn't he?" 

"He's a good man," she said with a smile and did her best not to look at Matt to avoid seeing his reaction this time. 

"That's awesome. Can't wait for the wedding!" 

"Wedding?" Matt intervened almost immediately. 

"Our girl here got engaged. You're behind, Murdock."

"Um yeah, it's pretty recent, actually," she added, this time looking at Matt, who gave her a smile, his eyes still hidden behind those glasses. 

"Congratulations," he told her, more politely than friendly. 

"Thank you." 

After a few seconds of silence, Karen changed the obviously awkward topic and ordered a few more snacks. They spent the next hour singing songs, remembering good old times and hearing stories about baby Amy. 

At half past midnight it was time to leave. For an unplanned reunion and despite not having seen one another in such a long time, it had gone well. 

“Are you sure you don’t want a ride, Karen?” Foggy asked.

“Are you kidding me? This is a one-way street and you’d have to drive around the entire block. It’s fine, I’ll just walk. Thank you.”

“How about you, Matt?”

“I’m not gonna make you take a 40-minute detour for me. Don’t worry, I’ll take a cab.”

Karen gave Foggy a big hug and waved at him when he hopped in the car. As she saw him disappear into the traffic, she found herself caught up in the middle of a flashback: she had just been left alone with Matt outside a bar.

Her first thought was to run away but Matt, thank heavens, ran faster.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears.
> 
> "After all this time?"
> 
> "Always," said Snape.
> 
> _"Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows"_ by J. K. Rowling

"I could walk you to the hotel… if you'd like," Matt offered. He didn't know what else he could say that wouldn't make the situation more uncomfortable than it already was. 

"Sure. Yeah, why not? It's this way," she trusted that because it was only two blocks, it couldn't be too bad. 

They started walking among other people on the sidewalk. It was not the same. In fact, it was weird. To begin with, he kept using his cane normally, without reaching out to her arm for "guidance", she didn't start talking about her day or laughing at his silly jokes as she used to do on their way home, he didn't kiss her temple when they stopped at the traffic light. That definitely had been another lifetime. It was so weird it hurt. 

Karen didn't know what to say. As much as she loved Foggy's stories, Matt had been somewhat quiet and she worried he hadn't felt comfortable enough with her sudden appearance. Maybe this hadn’t been a good idea after all, but hell, who knows when she'd be able to see him again? They were already there and she was particularly curious about one thing. Talking a little bit with the person that had once been the most important one in her life couldn't do any harm, could it? 

"You look good," she knew if she used the word happy, he would've been able to tell she was not being completely truthful. "How's everything going with you?" 

"It's alright. I could say there's a certain balance that I'm kind of not used to, to be honest," he said jokingly. 

Karen laughed. "Balance in your life? Well, that's something I'd like to see," she teased. "I'm glad for you, Matt. I really am."

"Thank you." 

Matt gave her another brief smile and they kept walking in silence. Where was Foggy when he needed him? Small talk was not his thing. Out of all the things he could say, he couldn't come up with anything that wouldn't make her think he was a selfish bastard, which by the way he was sure he was. She was happy, she was doing great, why all of a sudden was not being part of her life tormenting him? There was a lot he wanted to tell her, yet none of it was appropriate; therefore, he did what he did best: kept it to himself and let her be. 

They were about to reach the hotel's front door when he took his glasses off and put them in his pocket, giving her the chance to see his eyes for the first time in the whole night, for the first time in years. That was the last little push she needed to stop walking and finally ask him. 

“Is it true?” she saw him tilt his head and get a little tense. She probably shouldn’t have asked, it was intrusive and none of her business, but she wanted to know if it had been as painful for him as it had been for her. “What Foggy said at the bar.”

“About Josie? Yeah, absolutely, she hasn't changed a bit,” he felt like an idiot trying to joke about something like that. He knew he would not escape her question, but at least she laughed.

“Don't be silly, I believe you know what I mean."

“Um, yeah, it's true... It took me some time to not fall apart,” Matt admitted with a shy tone, the memory of it still haunting him. 

“But you never said anything,” there was concern mixed with surprise in her voice. While it was true that it had been her decision to leave, as far as she knew their relationship had ended in good terms and he seemed to be coping. She was wrong to assume that he wouldn't be suffering the same as she was. She should've known better, obviously he had chosen to hide it. 

“What difference would it have made? You were gone. I knew we had been having issues, there was distance between us, to name it somehow, and although I never expected you to leave like that I didn't think I had any right to ask you to come back." 

Karen was perplexed. She made an effort to process his words but none of them resulted in anything that wouldn't upset her. 

"How can you say that? 'Leave like that'? You can't blame _me_."

"No, don't get me wrong, I just guess a part of me selfishly thought you'd always keep fighting, the other part feared you'd get tired of this life, eventually. And that's something I totally understand."

"I didn't leave because I got tired. I loved my life with you, you know that. But you were keeping things from me, always with that secretiveness of yours. I felt like you had stopped talking to me and I couldn't be myself around you either, so... I guess I held back. That’s why I had no other choice but to move on even if it took everything in me. I cried every night while getting adapted to that new place, Matt, and you never gave me a single hint that you missed me or that you wanted me back,” she paused. “If you were so devastated, why didn't you go after me?"

"I couldn’t do that, Karen..."

"Was Daredevil more important to you? Is that why? Did I get out of your way? Cause I read the paper, I know you're very popular now and you have your balance and all." 

"Daredevil has nothing to do with this. You know I would give that up if you, of all people, asked me to, but I also know you never would. I was simply terrified of losing you. That was my biggest fear and it came true, except not the way I thought. I was so sure you'd leave me that I pushed you away without even realizing it and I regretted it the minute I heard your steps walking away that day at the airport. But I didn't think I could give you the life you deserved, that is why I let you go, for you to be happy away from me, and I was doing fairly well on my end until you showed up at my building two days ago. Why did you come?" 

"Of course you'd notice me..." she murmured to herself. 

"Why did you go to my place?" he urged. 

"I don't know, okay? I don't know. I guess I wanted to see you, but I ran as soon as I noticed you were with someone. I didn't think you'd want to see me." 

"Well, I was certainly not expecting to. I didn't think it was possible that you had come back, so I searched for you the next morning." 

"You searched for me?" 

"I did. I found out you were staying right here at The Royal and passed by yesterday morning. I sensed you, you were having a latte and chatting and I left immediately. When I got to the office Foggy told me you had called him. I'm sorry about that, I just... I had to make sure it was really you." 

"Yeah, don't worry, I sort of spied on you first," she said, embarrassed, but the tight-lip smile he flashed at her calmed her down. "How did you find me?" 

"The radio show. I sometimes listen to it. The website said something about a convention, that's how I knew you were in New York."

"But I don't get it, we've barely texted each other in the past two years, you haven't called me in forever. Why do you listen to my show?"

Matt's cheeks turned red and he lowered his head, putting his hands inside his pockets. He let out a deep breath and parted his lips with nothing coming out of his mouth, but Karen knew him far too well, it was almost like she could read his mind. 

"No..." she started saying with a slight tension gradually taking over her chest, "don't you do that right now, don't."

"It's the only way I have to feel you close to me and make sure you're safe," he confessed, ignoring her request. "I should've talked to you, Karen, long ago. I can't keep blaming myself for letting you go." 

More words to process and these struck her harder. The man she knew was far from being an open book, yet there he was, speaking his heart out. Her hands started trembling and her heart rate sped up. Damn it! How was it possible that to this day she still couldn't keep it together in front of him? It was ridiculous and annoying and he could sense all of it. She should've seen this coming. Deep down she wanted to see him more than she wanted to attend that stupid convention. Why did she come at all if she knew she would break down to pieces the moment she saw him? 

Matt, on the other hand, was caught by surprise. He was not expecting her to react like that. Could this mean that…? It wasn't possible. She abandoned him. She was engaged now. She couldn't love him.

"I'm sorry. This was a mistake," he went on. 

"Why are you telling me this now? Why did you have to wait four fucking years? Don't you realize it's too late? I have a life away from here, away from you! And you have a girlfriend. We can't..." 

A hundred what-if's passed through her mind, but none of them was real. Their here-and-now could never lead to a happy ending together, not when there were other people involved. Yet she loved him. There, she admitted it to herself, she had never stopped loving him. And she knew that look, she could see right through him, his hazel eyes never did lie to her, she knew he felt the same. 

"Yes, we can." 

"After all this time?" she asked with her eyes full of tears and watched him take a step forward, closing what was left of the small gap between them. 

"Always." 

He cupped her neck and kissed her with passion, holding her against him and feeling her body practically vanish in his arms. Her hands responded swiftly by traveling over his chest, his jawline, and his soft hair. 

One kiss, that's all it took for their love to unite what time and distance had put apart. They could feel it, they knew this was bigger than the lives they had built separately, than the relationships they had developed; this was bigger than their fears and it was a chance, one more chance that this crazy, stubborn universe they were part of was giving them to be together again. 

Whether it was a gentle pull from her or an alluring push from him, or perhaps one of them had asked and the other one had nodded, they couldn’t tell, all they knew was that their steps synchronized toward the hotel. The way to the room felt almost as long as the time they had been apart, but it paid off dearly. Every kiss, every touch, every piece of clothing they took off from each other fed the flame within them. His keen skill in arousing her had not diminished a bit, and she had not forgotten the right places to touch to make him yearn for more. 

In the blink of an eye they were both on top of the bed. The sheets were not made of silk, but Matt hardly noticed. All of his senses were focused on Karen, who was glowing all over. She was the essence of grace and beauty, of love and fire. He relished her warm shape enveloping him ***** as he slipped into her, ardent and deeply, with their hearts beating at the same rhythm. He dropped kisses along the smooth curve of her throat, making her moan and vibrate, and the marks she left on him as her fingers went over every inch of his body made him worship her more than ever. 

It was not the same, it was much, much better. Being able to enjoy each other like this, their temperature increasing with every thrust, their bodies becoming one again. His hands were firmly pressing her against his pelvis, and when her palms glided over his scars he laced their fingers together, held them over his chest and leaned down to kiss her. In the middle of her ecstasy he felt her gasp in his mouth and tense all of her muscles at the time he throbbed with pleasure inside her warm center. A state of bliss invading them both. 

They remained still for a moment with their foreheads touching while their breathing and their heartbeats went back to normal. She was running her fingers through his hair and, as if her weariness was not enough to lull her to sleep, Matt started planting soft kisses on her face, making her smile, always treating her like a gemstone. 

"You never change, do you?" she breathed. 

"Old habits die hard." 

He enfolded her, surrounding her waist with his arm and burying his face on the side of her neck. To him, she was everything, and tonight she had made him change his own definition of heaven. ******

"I love you," he whispered, his eyelids shutting down immediately. 

Karen didn't vocalize her answer, she just turned her head to him, cupped his face and kissed his lips tenderly before drifting off to sleep too. 

Once again, without any prior notice, Matt Murdock had turned her world upside down, and she couldn't help but wonder whether this was the right way up.

* * *

Matt caught a whiff of Karen's scent as soon as he woke up. Her soap and shampoo were new to him, but she smelled exactly the same. 

"Good morning. I'm surprised you've slept that much with all the noise I've made getting dressed. You were always the one contemplating me in my sleep at night," she told him as she sat down on the bed beside him to put on her necklace. 

She was still in her underwear, but she had already showered and packed her stuff and her dress was lying on the armchair. 

"I was sound asleep,” he responded with a small grin. “Good morning."

He sat up behind her and brushed his fingers against the ends of her hair over her lower back. 

"Your hair's longer. I like it," he added. 

Karen blushed but kept on putting on her jewelry. He was only covered by the sheets from his waist down, if she wanted to catch that plane she could not let herself get distracted by Matt's charms. 

"Thanks." 

With other things in mind, he slid his hand around her abdomen, wrapping her between his forearm and his chest and placing his chin on her shoulder. The little massage of his fingertips on her hip bone made her flutter and she had to give up on her necklace.

"Tickles," she giggled softly. 

"I know, sorry. Couldn't help it."

She turned around and scanned him thoroughly. Despite the scar on his temple and the inevitable pass of time on his face, he looked just as gorgeous. She glanced at the small silver cross hanging from his neck and rubbed it between her fingers, being perfectly aware of what that meant to him. 

"How's Maggie?"

"She's good. We're, uh, we're good."

"Say hi to her for me, will you?"

"Sure. She'll be happy to hear from you."

Matt's phone beeped suddenly and they both heard the notification. 

_You have "ONE" new text message from "SARAH"._

He didn't move or say anything. He considered it would be better to listen to it later alone. Karen was the one to speak. 

"I'm curious... does she know about _you_?"

"She does, she actually rescued me once, that's how we met. I was lying on an alley. Rough night."

"Oh really? Wow, she must be divine."

"She is, indeed." 

"Great. That's really great." 

He smiled vaguely and thought of asking her if she had told her fiancé about her own secrets, but it was not his right, that was too private and he knew how painful it was for her. However, Karen read his mind. 

"I never talked about… you know. Don't think I ever will." 

"You don't have to, and if you ever do, I'm sure he'll love you anyway. That doesn't define you, Karen."

_Love_. Why was she doubting that word ever since she arrived in New York? 

Karen gulped and took a deep breath in an attempt to dissipate her thoughts. 

"We're the worst." 

"Are you sure? Cause I actually thought it was pretty good," he joked. 

"You know what I mean," she said. "This. Us." 

Matt still had that silly smile on his face, but when she stood up and started putting her dress on he frowned. 

"Where are you going?" 

"What do you mean where am I going? I have to be at the airport in one hour." 

"Right," he replied grimly, reality hitting him like a truck. 

"Matt, last night was amazing, it really was, but I have to go." 

"Last night was out of this world and you know it. And I'm not only talking about the sex, it was beyond that. C'mon, you felt it too, Karen. I'm sure you did." 

"Yeah, but whatever that was you can't expect me to stay here." 

"Right, you have to go back to your great life in LA," bitter cynicism dripping out of his pores. 

"Oh my god, you are so unfair," she grumbled. 

"Tell me which part of this is unfair." 

"The part in which other people get hurt because of our selfish decisions." 

"Forget other people at least for one moment. Is it selfish if it makes you happy?" 

"Are you even listening to yourself?!" 

Karen stared at him for a moment before saying anything else. This was fucked up. How did they get to this? Matt remained on edge of the bed while she was still standing in front of him. Slowly, he reached out for her hand and tilted his head. He was sitting, but it was almost as if he were on his knees. 

"Please stay... Stay with me," he begged quietly, wishing he had had the courage to do that four years ago. 

She couldn't deny she had thought of what it would've been like if she had stayed a little longer, if she had fought a little more, but it was too late. 

With tears in her eyes she'd have to abandon Matt yet again, and she didn't understand what made it much more difficult this time. Was it Ryan? Or was it the fear of risking it all for their last chance of genuine happiness? While that was tempting, it was too high a risk considering their history, so she let go of his hand and stepped backwards. 

"We tried before and look where it got us. Maybe it's just not meant to be."

"Do you love him?" 

"What? Matt, if you're trying to test me..."

"I'm not testing you, it’s a simple question. I need you to tell me if he's the man you'll still want to be with 20 years from now, that you will never think about me and what we would've been in case you had stayed. Do you love him?"

"I do," her voice cracked, but her heart remained steady. She knew he could hear it, she wasn't lying. "I do love him... And I have to go. I'm sorry." 

He crumbled in front of her, his face turned pale and his eyes sunk into an emptiness she had never seen before. She couldn't bear leaving him like this, knowing she was the cause of his suffering, but she wiped her tears with her fingers and took her suitcase.

She had to go. 

"Goodbye, Matt."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***** That line was inspired by this:  
>  _“Out of the myriad infinite body shapes, one shape stands out. To his eyes, it is the essence of grace, of beauty. The form is warm and red and glows all over, colored by love, their love. The warm shape finds him and envelopes him.”_  
>  ― Panel with Matt Murdock and Karen Page, Daredevil Vol. 1, #239, written by Ann Nocenti.
> 
> ****** That line was inspired by this:  
>  _“I changed my mind about heaven.”_  
>  _“What would that be?” she asked._  
>  _“This. A blanket. A bed. You.”_  
>  — Tyler Knott Greggson


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the last chapter of this bittersweet story. Thanks for patiently going through all this angst to finally get the happy ending we were all waiting for ❤️

It had been four years, three months and twenty-one days since that cold November morning when she left New York. Today she was coming back to the city that became her home when she had no place in the world and where she had learned, even amidst its threats and dark corners, the value of sincere friendship, love, and life itself. 

There was a clear blue sky outside the airplane window. The sun shone over her hand and the memory of a ring that was no longer there came to her mind. Would she miss her life in California? She probably would, but it would be the same as missing something or someone you loved as a child and are aware is not there anymore because life simply goes on, because things change. Missing Matt, however, had always been like a tiny little thorn in her heart that she had grown to ignore, not because it no longer hurt but because she had gotten used to the pain.

For the first time in four years, it no longer hurt.

It hadn't been easy. Ryan was the epitome of what any man should be and precisely because of that he deserved to be with someone who loved him unconditionally and, above all, transparently, none of which she could offer. Breaking his heart added up to the long list of damage she was to blame for, but staying would’ve meant living in a half-truth, and if there was anything she always fought for was the truth.

"Look, there's a lot you don't know about me. Things I've done, people... people I've hurt," she had told him after dinner the night of her return. 

He looked confused. He had always been honest with her, and as far as he knew she had done the same.

"Honey, I don't understand. You know you can tell me anything." 

"See, that's the thing, I don't think I can. You're too good for me. I don't think we should.... I hate to say this, but... " 

"Karen, what exactly are you trying to say?" 

She took a deep breath and ran her fingers through her hair. The lump that had formed in her throat the moment she left Matt back in the hotel wouldn't go away until she said the words out loud. If she wanted everything, she'd also have to risk everything.

And her choice had been made. 

"I'm going back to New York." 

"Back to New York?" he asked. He couldn’t make sense out of anything he was hearing. 

"I'm _moving_ back to New York… This is not my life." 

The silence that followed made her words echo in her head, and they were as painful as they were liberating.

Ryan was perplexed. Even if he had managed to ask questions, she wouldn't have been able to give him the answers he needed and, by the determination in her voice, he could tell that nothing he did or said would make her change her mind. 

"Are you sure about this?" 

She wasn't. In fact, she was terrified, but she was undoubtedly willing to leave it all behind to fight for the most precious thing she had ever had in her life. 

"I'm sorry." 

She started packing the very next day. The fact that pretty much all her belongings could fit in three suitcases and a handbag was a sign that she was just occupying a space in that house, but didn't really belong in there. 

Her Labrador puppies seemed to know something was going on because they didn't leave her side for a second. Those two were truly breaking her heart, but they too would get used to it. Life was cruel even to innocent creatures. 

She was done shortly after midday and put everything in the trunk by herself despite Ryan's insistence in helping. Other than that, there wasn't much more talk. He was a smart man, and by this time he had already figured out the real reason why she was leaving. Perhaps it was better that way, him realizing she was not the person he thought she was, perhaps that would help him cope and help her feel less guilty. 

"He's a lucky guy," was the last thing he said to her. The usual joy in his green eyes had been coated with sadness. 

She took her ring off and placed it in his hand, gave him one last kiss and walked away. 

When you choose a path, you leave others behind, and although you may look back with nostalgia at times, the right path will always stand out and remind you of all the great things for which you chose it in the first place. She had convinced herself otherwise for a long time, but a life with Matt was the only path she wanted to walk on. 

After finishing work that day and presenting her resignation, she pulled over in front of the nearby hotel where she'd be staying for the next couple of days until she had finished running a few errands. Her hand was shaking when she took her phone out of her purse and searched for Matt's number. She didn't even know what she'd tell him, she really just hoped for the best. 

It rang three times, and she was about to hang up when she heard his voice. He sounded agitated, as if he had been running. She learned later that he had actually been boxing that evening and that he was with Foggy, who was mad at him. 

"I hope you have a very, _very_ good excuse for ignoring my calls all day, Murdock," he had told him when he found him at the gym. "Since you were nowhere to be found I thought the most logical thing would be to call your girlfriend, and that's when I found out you had broken up with her. What the hell, Matt? She's like the most regular person you've ever dated and I actually like her. This is what she said. Opening quotation mark. Matt seriously has to figure himself out. He never loved me, all this time he's been in love with someone else. Can you believe that? I think I kind of knew it, I just didn't want to accept it. Closing quotation mark. Now, will you tell me what's going on?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Matt answered mechanically, looking angry. 

"You truly are an asshole. Sure, don't tell anybody, not even your best friend. I almost feel sorry for whoever douchebag you get to punch tonight." 

Matt scoffed but ignored him and focused his strength and energy on the sandbag. Foggy sat down on the edge of the ring right behind Matt, not willing to let it go. 

"Does this have anything to do with Karen?" he asked seriously. 

Matt stopped hitting the bag and wiped the sweat out of his forehead with his arm. The sharp look in his eyes was easily read. 

"Oh god, it has everything to do with Karen. You two are incredible. Seriously, after all this time? You never mentioned anything!"

"It doesn't matter anymore. She left. Again. The best I can do right now is to step away."

"Except you still love her, don't you? What happened after I left that bar?"

"Like I said, it doesn't matter."

"You guys slept together? Some things never change, do they? Jeez, when will the drama between you two end?"

"Foggy, just... Leave it. It's pointless. She's gone for good this time."

"Then why did you break up with Sarah, huh?"

Matt sighed. He had to admit he loved her, or at least he thought he did, but for some reason he could not envision himself with her for the rest of his life. It wasn't fair, for her especially, to go on with a relationship that would fade away sooner or later.

"It's not the moment, Fog." 

"So what's your plan? Drown in misery and beat the shit out of criminals while the love of your life is getting married? Matt, if Karen is the person you love, you have to fight for her, like you have before!" 

"I tried, alright? I asked her to stay, but Karen never asked anything from me, never asked to change anything about me. Who am I to ask her to leave everything behind? She made her choice and I'm not gonna get in her way if this means she'll be happy."

He went back to hitting the bag, his punches had become rougher and louder, but Foggy knew what was really behind that anger: abandonment. He only wished he could help his friend, who was more like a brother to him, not to feel so lonely. 

Matt stopped abruptly when the robotic female voice coming from his cell phone started saying Karen's name repeatedly. He didn't react. 

"You're not picking that up either?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. 

Matt quickly took his gloves off and searched for the device in the gym bag to answer it. 

"Karen?"

Her heart skipped a beat upon hearing him and she smiled automatically. 

"Hey." 

"Hi," he heard the tension in her voice and immediately got concerned. "Are you okay?" 

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, I just… did something very crazy today."

The more she talked, the more nervous she became, and so did he. 

"What is it? Are you sure you're alright? Where are you?" 

She smiled and started crying. Even after leaving him the way she did he was still looking after her. 

"Yeah, I'm okay, I'm sorry. I'm about to check in at a hotel. I'm planning to stay here for a few days until…" 

"I don't get it. Why are you at a hotel?" 

"Well, I haven't been able to stop thinking of you and…" she paused and sighed, "I'm no longer engaged, Matt." 

Matt couldn't believe it and he heard his own heart racing. 

"What do you mean?" 

"I'm no longer engaged. I'm moving back to Hell's Kitchen. I don't even know what I'm expecting right now because I know what I said to you and I know you have a girlfriend, but I can't be here anymore." 

She heard no answer. "Are you there?" 

"I broke up with Sarah this morning."

"You did what?" 

"I haven't stopped thinking of you either. It wasn't going anywhere and I didn't wanna lie to her anymore. Are you really coming back?" 

She smiled again and her tears were not of sadness or uncertainty, but of joy. 

"I am." 

"You're coming back," he repeated, unable to believe it. 

"Will you still be there?" 

"No doubt, sweetheart."

She closed her eyes and remained silent for a moment. Despite being miles away, it was as if he was right next to her inside the car, holding her and tearing down the fears that had been haunting her. There was no need to be afraid anymore. He had made her feel safe again.

"Matt?" 

"Yes?" 

"I love you too." 

He couldn't help but smile. For a long time, those words had been the missing piece in the puzzle of his life. 

Foggy recognized that silly face on Matt immediately. He had been standing in front of him, witnessing everything with his mouth open. _At fucking last_ , was all he kept thinking. 

Matt put his phone down and turned to him, still digesting the idea of what had just happened. 

"She's coming back," he said. 

"You two are a goddamn rollercoaster."

* * *

The next three weeks went by painfully slow. The station would not let Karen go and, after a few meetings and offers, they convinced her to keep a correspondent position with her interviews being broadcasted weekly instead. It was a no brainer that she'd also associate with Foggy and Matt at the firm again, and possibly even The Bulletin too, but she wanted to take one step at a time. She trusted that eventually things would fall into place. 

It felt right. Every time she spoke with Matt over the phone it reassured her she had made the right decision. Somehow they were talking again, a little cautiously at first maybe, they were still adjusting to this new reality in which they were starting fresh, but then it just flowed more and more easily between them. They had learned from their mistakes and had the reassuring certainty that they were going to make it this time.

She kept him posted on her day and he'd tell her whether he got hurt or not during the night. At times he found himself missing her voice messages when he got up in the morning only to then remember that she was in a different time zone and she was still sleeping, thus he'd have to wait until later in the day to hear her voice. He kept reminiscing about the old times when they woke up together each morning, but also daydreaming about things he wanted to do with her, imagining the rest of their lives together. 

Karen also allowed herself to dust off all those memories she had worked so hard to put away, moments in which she had been so happy with Matt. She couldn't wait to relive those again, but mostly, she was incredibly excited to make their present, and future, even better. 

With all of this and more, their eagerness to be together grew a little bigger every day. Until the day finally arrived. 

Foggy announced he'd handle their 2:00 pm hearing in order for Matt to take the day off and pick Karen up at the airport. 

"You only live once, buddy. Don't worry, I got this," he told him after Matt insisted on helping. 

Although he appreciated Foggy's good intentions, he sort of wished he had worked normally that day to keep his mind busy because his anxiety was killing him. He had been unable to sleep and woke up two hours earlier, worked out at Fogwell's and then tried to meditate when he got back to his apartment. It was all useless. 

Wanting to start keeping track of Karen's flight, he was checking his watch every twenty minutes. Additionally, he had planned to cook her favorite meal for dinner, but he was all over the place and decided to take her out to the Indian restaurant instead. He was only able to calm down when he heard the message she sent him right before boarding the plane. The time was near, so he quickly showered, got dressed, dropped by the flower shop next to his building and took a cab. 

Airports were something he hated, he honestly did. He did his best to focus only on the speakers announcing the West Coast arrivals because otherwise the overwhelming amount of noises would drive him insane, but when he heard Karen's heartbeat among the hundreds of people emerging from gate 6A, her scent coming his way and her steps getting louder as she approached him, everything else went quiet and he was filled with a joy he could not describe. She was back, she was back with him. 

She smiled and blushed when she saw him standing there on his jeans and an olive green shirt, the brightest smile on his face and a white rose in his hand. She had to try her very best to keep composure when she was finally in front of him. 

"Good to see you, Mr. Murdock. Green suits you pretty well," she told him casually. 

"Thank you, Ms. Page. I was under the impression that you liked red better."

"Oh red is just fine." 

He smirked. "Visiting town?" 

"No, actually I think I'm gonna stay," she answered, playing along. 

"That's great news. For how long, may I ask?" 

She caressed his jawline slowly and let her thumb pet his chin briefly. 

"Indefinitely," her sweet voice announced. 

He leaned closer and brought her to him, embracing her as he softly brushed her lips with his. His kisses always had that effect on her that made her feel incredibly loved. He for sure had made her change her own definition of happiness. She laughed and cried all at once and then threw her arms around him to hold him as tight as she could. 

Matt felt her tears dampening his neck and he just couldn’t stop smiling. He pulled away a little, cupped her face, wiped her tears gently, and pressed his forehead against hers. At last, they were exactly where they needed to be. 

"Welcome home, babe," he whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The series of events that follow Matt and Karen’s reunion (Chapters 4 and 5) were inspired by Nicholas Sparks's _"The Notebook"_. (Live action adaptation by Nick Cassavetes).

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks a lot for reading.


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